Cats photoshopped as noir detectives

AMBER LOVE 05-FEB-2018 My work is supported by the generous backers who adore my cat stories at Patreon.com/amberunmasked and they also get first access to what’s happening with my books and podcast. Also, I’m an Amazon Influencer so you can shop through my personal recommendations and buy my books with these handy links below:

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Expand for Adventures with Gus Table of Contents

Where we left off…


The Estate:

Uncertainty has struck a chord at the detective agency. On the night before the Super Blue Blood Full Moon, January 30th, the wife of the old couple who owns most of this land died. She was 99-years-old. As I previously shared in our case file, emergency responders were dispatched to the main house a couple weeks ago where the elderly couple had been on the floor for at least 24 hours, unaware of how much time had passed or how they got there.

Responders ruled out carbon monoxide poisoning. The couple was taken to the hospital then on to a rehabilitation facility. It didn’t look good. Oliver’s human companions went to visit them and they were not in good spirits. They were never particularly friendly people, but we hoped they would make an effort to be peaceful when at Death’s door.

The temperatures dropped once again around the time of the Full Moon. We couldn’t have our inspections, perimeter checks, or adventures. Gus was being ridiculous as if starved for attention, yet nothing I tried would make him happy. While he continued to cry and swing the framed artwork on the wall, I looked up the tax records for the property to see how much land there really was. Originally I was told it was 40 acres, but then the Grumpy Old Man said the couple had sold some of it.

GusIn this day and age, I expected tax maps of block/lot identification to be online. However, it seems that in the state of paranoia, even block/lot maps are considered vulnerable to possible terrorists. I don’t know why. They are public record and available at the town and county offices for viewing by anyone. This isn’t a matter of infrastructure like sewer systems or unused railway tunnels. They’re just maps, like Google or Mapquest, but with lines for showing the boundaries of properties. I kept digging through searches and didn’t find any maps on government websites, but did find one alternative used by real estate agents and developers.

We’d like to know how vulnerable we are to real estate developers, not terrorists although we did have that one encounter with the military aircraft which was too close for comfort. The online map said that the surrounding property is 38 acres, so some was indeed sold off. The deed records were on the county site, but in unhelpful language like 95 feet from the iron pole to a point.

I looked up our block and lot and chuckled to see that the myth persists that this building was constructed in 1776. From other research, there weren’t that many buildings around here until after 1800 and more likely 1900. But hey, if General George Washington slept here, that’s fine by us.

In our fantasy world, the cats and I would get to buy the land and turn it into a nature preserve where Gus and Ollie could have adventures all over it. The first thing would be to ban hunting. Then if we had however many millions it would take, get a proper landscaping design team to get all the vines off the trees so they can grow without being strangled; and add a few small water features that naturally blend into the rocky landscape.

Well, we can dream.

Health & Wellbeing:

The detectives had to go for their annual exams. This was not a good experience. Oliver is never ever a good patient. He’s a demonic terror from another realm. I’ve discussed his demon possession before on Instagram especially.


Oliver’s ancient demon spirit came out in a force greater than we had ever seen before. Worse than Mr. Hyde. Worse than the Hulk. If the Hulk was also filled with hatred for humanity & granted the powers of Scarlet Witch after her brother died, that’s about the level of energy & screaming Oliver had. They couldn’t even examine his teeth, lungs, heart and other organs. He got his vaccinations and that’s all that could be done.

Gus growled, got 2 shots and has to go back for 2 more. $500 later and they were home, eating and happy.

Gus is being absolutely absurd in his demands and not allowing me to get anything done so there’s not much to report today. I’ve spent four hours trying to revise one chapter if that’s any indication.

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