Winchester-Nabu Detective Agency Year Three: Case File No. 05-109
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Where We Left Off:
The Winchester-Nabu Detective Agency discovered a flock of blue jays acting suspiciously.
Early in the rainy mornings of May, I noticed that one of the local squirrels, Minnie Squirrel of Gnome Grove, was making trips to the residence of chipmunk mafia don, Cheeks Moretti. Gus and Oliver began stakeouts from the observation deck; but as the shrubbery grew, the view of Cheeks’ rock wall fortress became difficult to see.
Oliver had questions immediately. Why was Minnie meeting up with Cheeks Moretti? What could possibly bring her from Gnome Grove around the big maple over to the rock wall? It soon became obvious that Minnie was stealing peanuts from the chipmunk mafia!
This clearly meant we had to open an investigation. Was Cheeks allowing Minnie to take the peanuts or was it truly theft? If it’s theft, does that mean the chipmunk mafia will seek revenge on Minnie Squirrel and her partner Squirrel Haggard? If Cheeks is allowing Minnie to share in his stash, what will be expected of Minnie in return for such kindness?
These are serious questions which have befuddled our staff. Gnome Grove is doled a supply of snacks just like all the other locations where we leave peace offerings. They don’t get as much since there’s less activity there and because Gnome Grove is also close to the Fairy Garden which is given a portion as well. It would seem more logical that if the residents of Gnome Grove were in need, they would first go to the fairies. Needless to say, we’re worried either way. If Minnie Squirrel is in cahoots with the chipmunks, they must be up to something BIG.
Sometimes it’s not what you see, it’s what you don’t see.
Oliver said that Joey Bag O’Peanuts has not been seen this year, nor has the mother of his children. They were frequent visitors to Oliver’s patio, the Fairy Garden, and around their neighborhood in Gnome Grove. Was the disappearance of Joey Bag O’Peanuts related to Minnie Squirrel’s interactions with the chipmunk mafia? We had to poke around further and see what we could find out.
Since Gnomez Addams has been diligently back on duty for a couple of months, he was our first stop for inquiries. Unlike other gnomes, Gnomez isn’t one for gossip. He’s a straight-shooter as they say. He was not able to confirm that Joey Bag O’Peanuts is truly gone or missing, but he would say that the chipmunk had not been seen. There are rumblings of chipmunk activity near the busy main road, but whoever they are, they have kept to themselves. Maybe they’re new in town. Or… maybe it’s Joey and his family hiding out.
“Okay, fine, whatever. Have you talked to Minnie Squirrel or Squirrel Haggard lately? Do you know why she would socializing with Cheeks Moretti?” Gus has little patience for Gnomez and I’m not sure why. Gnomez is a swell guy and hard worker. Sure he ends up a victim as much as he helps with cases, but that’s not his fault. Squirrel Haggard just doesn’t like him.
“Actually, she did say something odd come to think of it. Minnie has been going up and down this tree a lot. She’s also spending a lot of time in the big maple which seemed strange to me since this tree is perfectly fine.”
Gnomez chattered because he didn’t often get company for more than a few seconds at a time. Gus paced a while before finally taking a seat on Gnomez’s patio.
“Minnie said she didn’t feel comfortable going to the Fairy Garden anymore since there are so many more fairies over there. She said it’s a constant party! Those fairies are having such a frolicking good time that it’s been keeping away almost everyone. The crows and the blue jays are the only ones that have been regular visitors there. A squirrel might go over on occasion, but it’s rare now.”
We haven’t introduced you to the new fairies officially, but two have arrived and settled in. Although as the two new arrivals have come, Meg von Fae has not returned from her physical rehabilitation. She gave it her all after losing one wing, but the prosthetic didn’t last long either. There are currently five fairies in the garden neighborhood. We’ll have more on them later.
Gus’ attention started to wane, but he was able to glean the crucial facts from Gnomez’s babbling. If Minnie felt that she was unwelcome in the Fairy Garden now, she must have sought out alternate means of gathering peanuts and sunflower seeds. Cheeks Moretti would obviously have the best supply available on the black market. It is a shame, however, that due to Gus being Gus and his behavior is somewhat aggressive as a detective, that Minnie didn’t safe coming over to me directly as I issued the peanut donations. When the chipmunks have been polite and friendly, I’ve stayed and given them more.
Is she stealing though?
As Jean Valjean asks, is it stealing to feed yourself and your family when they’re hungry? Even if we can agree that it’s theft of chipmunk property, can we really blame the squirrels? I can’t. When I look back at the split decision of the Supreme Court of Squirrels when they judge Gus on his “brutal” behavior towards perps and suspects, the majority said Gus was following his instincts. Isn’t Minnie doing the same? If Cheeks Moretti ever deems her to be taking more than he’s willing to spare, there may be a problem down the line for Minnie.
Oliver accepted the report from Gnomez Addams and felt no further inquiries were necessary. We believe that the Supreme Court of Squirrels would be particularly upset if Minnie faced charges for burglary or grand theft legume.
Status: Closed (for now)
There’s video of Minnie Squirrel at the rock fortress of chipmunk mafia don Cheeks Moretti (scroll to slide 7):