what do you want notebook


AMBER LOVE 28-AUG-2014 It would be foolish of me to think that all the people visiting the site actually READ the posts. The search hits in the analytics are clear as day as to what content people are seeking that brings them here via search engines. Yet, despite the resdesign and all the time I spend on Twitter, people are only coming here for porn only. #sorrynotsorry but I’m more than that. Yet, a couple times a week, I get emails asking for naked pictures as if, prior to today, I didn’t have several nsfw galleries available FOR FREE. Too bad. Too late now. I’m putting my foot down.

search hits


Let me tell you about some of the women I idolize. Women like Marilyn Monroe, Holly Golightly (Broadsword Comics) and Stoya (Adult performer and aerial performer). These are women who 100 percent own(ed) their bodies. In their careers, they have shown that there’s no shame in a woman owning her right as a sexual being while still being a human that possesses qualities other than a sex doll. They are women who have shown the world that there are aspirations, political achievements to unlock, art to create and more. They do that while having lives that are public and private. Marilyn had her demons and losing her young broke a lot of hearts. The fortitude of those like her that are still around is something to be applauded.

It was only a week ago that I posted over 2,600 words about how severely toxic my depression is right now. I have been on edge all year worrying about my job and I finally got the notice the day after my birthday, August 12, that I was downsized. I don’t share about my day job because it’s personal and no one’s damn business. It was a low-paying but steady paycheck with benefits that I could count on twice a month and now it’s gone. It provided the things that modeling doesn’t and never will.

I’m not even going to bother going into detail about my state of mind right now. Not to imply, I don’t have friends and fans who would be interested in reading it; I know there are and I’m grateful that I matter to anyone. Honestly, I am. But the point of this post is to briefly say that I’m sick of the requests for naked photos when I have an entire website and alternate Twitter account that has that content. If someone is too goddamn lazy to click the menu that says “Photo Galleries,” than I’m not going to take them by the hand and show them. The site design is clean and intuitive.



And since I previously posted an entire entry about how NOW IS NOT THE TIME to ask me for sexual favors and that message has been ignored by some, I’ve made the Goddess-wielding decision to lock ALL of the NSFW galleries except for figure drawing portfolios. For a while, all of them were open for FREE; then I locked half of the nsfw galleries with half open for FREE. Now, I’m locking the rest. #SorryNotSorry, but that’s basically my “fuck you if you don’t take the time to read what I wrote” action of the day as the creator and owner of my content.

No. Sending me a thoughtful email about how much you respect me will not get you the password. Not today.

The week’s drama is greater than me. It always is. It was another week where violent threats have been made against a woman in the industry far more visible than my little podcast Vodka O’Clock. Anita Sarkeesian of Tropes vs Women and just prior, Zoe Quinn – women in gaming who have received horrendous threats. The tweets to Sarkeesian not only threatened her with rape and death but also her family by cowards that say they know where she lives. She had to flee her home, call the police and find a safe place to stay – which I’m sure cost her money. And why? Because men are threatened by women who are also people. People with opinions and goals.



*IF* you actually do pay attention to the other 70 percent of the website that’s not sex work related, you should be well aware that I work for Comic Fusion every year to raise money for SAFE in Hunterdon, our local domestic violence shelter which provides crisis intervention, temporary housing, a 24-hour hotline, and legal counsel for domestic violence victims. Our annual Superhero Weekend has raised around $47,000 in seven years. We are hosting the event this year on Oct 4-5. So if you really want to help women-who-are-also-people, donate to SAFE with the memo that it’s for Superhero Weekend or wait until bidding opens and bid on the comic art we will have available.

Former porn star Christy Mack was brutally beaten by her ex-boyfriend, that cowardly piece of shit MMA fighter “War Machine.” He attacked her because he believes he “owns” her and that despite being broken up, he can’t handle the fact that she is not his toy to fuck anymore. That is the world we live in. A world where even in a first world country like the United States, women are still considered the fucking property of men. When NFL wives get no justice while their husbands make millions and get away with beating them unconscious, women are the property of men.

If you donate $100 or more, I’ll *CONSIDER* giving you the password to the locked galleries because it’s a good cause and people should be happy to donate to them without receiving anything in return. You can email me through Facebook with your confirmation of the donation from SAFE with your address and credit card number blacked out, please, or email amberlovescomics at gmail. And you are doing this knowing there’s no guarantee that you’ll get the code and fully acknowledging you are at least 18 and finally that I maintain control of the content and can change the password at any time. You have no right to redistribute the content in ANY WAY.


Women and children who have lived through domestic abuse – whether physically violent, financially oppressive, or emotionally abusive – tend to think of themselves as less than their abuser, less than human, less than worthy of love, success, stability, or a roof over their heads.

I’m a failure as a woman. My men expect so much of me, because of the image they’ve made of me — and that I’ve made of myself — as a sex symbol. They expect bells to ring and whistles to whistle, but my anatomy is the same as any other woman’s and I can’t live up to it. ~MARILYN (1992)  by Peter Harry Brown and Patte B. Barham


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7 Comments on #sorrynotsorry but more galleries are locked

  1. There are a lot of idiots out there.

    The best part of your website is about getting to know you as a person, not just a body. I feel sorry for those who don’t see that.

    I was thinking about attending the Superhero weekend. I probably should, especially because I know someone who is a victim of domestic violence. I want to help, but don’t know how. That weekend would be a good place to start.

    • I appreciate what I think you’re trying to say, but I don’t owe any of the fans anything. I write when I need to. Photos are a different story. I’m stopping for now because people are assholes. That’s why the galleries are locked.

  2. It definitely sucks that there are people out there who treat women like this. I know it doesn’t need to be said, but I personally find you beautiful because of your words first, then your looks. Being an optimist, I truly hope that one day, people will learn to treat others with respect. But also being a realist, I know that day is probably long off. Keep doing what you are doing and know that you always have someone to talk to when things are shitty.

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