Winchester-Nabu Detective Agency Year Four:

Case File No. 32-188

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AMBER LOVE 21-DEC-2020 Find out how all this began. Catch up on Year One, Year Two, and Year Three cases at the Winchester-Nabu Detective Agency. Thank you for all your financial and social support! Oliver and Gus are looking forward to bringing you more fascinating discoveries and investigations into the chipmunk mafia, the blue jay gang, the neighborhood critters, and cryptid sightings.

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Where We Left Off:

Gus has had a personal vendetta against the Chipmunk Mafia and he recently targeted Chipcent Donofrio.


I don’t even know where to begin with this case file because it’s been a continuing saga of Gus vs. (fill in the blank). This time it was Gus against one of my favorite confidential informants, Vole Porter.

meadow vole

I’ve written about Vole Porter before, back in June. He hails from the northern border in the berms separating the yard from the deep woods. I’ve always been fond of this little fellow. He’s what the kids today would call a BAMF, badass motherfucker. We hit it off when Gus yanked him from the comforts of his burrow and Vole ran over to my boots begging for help. Back then, I was able to successfully release him. I also need to stop taking gloves off with my teeth after I’ve handled living or dead creatures.

Jump to the fall of 2020 and Gus was at it again. He was growing frustrated with having time limits on his patrols and adventures. I think one to two hours is plenty; and if it’s freezing, he should be grateful for thirty minutes. He’s been good about standing at the door for me to put his uniforms on, but he continues to try and sneak out the door buck naked if he thinks I’m not prepared.

Vole Porter did not have any news about the possible war between the lycans and the volkolaks.

NJ Bear Hunting

The New Jersey black bear hunting second season was December 7-12 and then extended to December 16-19 because there are so few left that meeting what the DFW thinks of as 30% is likely not accurate. To give you an idea, 410 bears were killed in this hunting season. Over the last ten years that’s 4,300 bears “harvested”. Now, this isn’t a bear post. I’ve made plenty of those. I know they are a food source for some people.

Luckily, we have a governor who sees that the population needs time to rebound. He stopped the bear hunting on public lands only. It’s still legal to kill bears of all ages and there’s no way to sex them at a distance but a good hunter would be able to guess by the size. That means even if a hunter sees a mother with cubs. They can’t be killed in their dens anymore but drive-by shootings, blinds, tree stands, and baiting are still legal.

Vole Porter has been one of our informants on the volkolaks, black bears, lycans, and foxes. He was able to validate updates on Arkadi, the friendly neighborhood volkolak who survived the bear hunting season in October (we haven’t spotted him in December). I could not convince Gus that Vole Porter was too valuable of an asset for him to be a jerky panther and hurt him. He missed a lot too. He would pounce on the fallen dead weeds and come up empty-mouthed. I admit that was fun to watch.

One day, we had just come back home. I took off Gus’ harness and collar. He ate and probably used the litterbox. The Grumpy Old Man came in the back door and Gus zoomed out. Then he had to prove himself and show off.

“Ha ha! I’m naked!”

Meanwhile, I was being reprimanded for not wearing a coat and proper footwear.


Gus would have said, “I got him!” but his mouth was full of vole and leaves. It looked like he was going to take it back to show the Grumpy Old Man what a great job he did, but Gus does this funny thing: he aims for someone or maybe a door and at the last second dodges. His peppy trot is always a clear indicator when he has captured something valuable (in this case “voleable”).

Vole Porter did not find my attempts at rescuing him any comfort although he was definitely much easier to handle than Chipcent Donofrio. When Gus had him in his jaws, it sure looked like the blood coming out of the vole meant it was already deceased. He had such fight in him. He got up like Rocky Balboa numerous times and attacked Gus! There was one moment when Vole Porter jumped on Gus’ backside and did a spinning ninja move over him! I used to think the idea of ninja turtles was laughable, but I have now witness a ninja rodent so… who am I to judge?

Unfortunately for Vole Porter, one of my rescue and release attempts did not go according to plan. Gus snuck up behind me. I twisted and turned to the left to get out of the weeds. Gus approached from my right and snatched Vole Porter from the berm. That time, it was fatal.

Case Findings:

Gus’ attempt at securing Vole Porter for questioning was far too brutal. His capture was fatal before I could get any more information from him. He served well as a CI for the Winchester-Nabu Detective Agency.

Case Status: Closed

crime scene warning

RIP Vole Porter
dead meadow vole

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