amber-f4-2010-consentAMBER LOVE 02-AUG-2014 In the wake of the SDCC Cosplayer incident, the slut-shaming and victim-blaming of cosplayers has gotten worse. The Mecca of trolls, 4chan, somehow has a hit directing people here. I find that HILARIOUS. Yes, a woman who makes costumes, like porn, and loves comics is somehow fueling the hatred of those petulant little boys. Maybe their mothers made them wear embarrassing costumes that were “for girls” or something. I can’t see why anyone would hate us so much. You’ll see the most deplorable comments in these screen captures outnumber the few positive ones in what seems like a 1:10 ratio. If you try to stand up for someone’s fandom expression, you’re simply another target for Anonymous trolls who very likely have photo galleries full of “sexy” cosplayers in their own hard drives. This perfectly shows the reason why I didn’t make multiple posts for every update on the case. If the link is posted somewhere people will see the fullest version of the story that I have.

What the SDCC Cosplayer was wearing was a sexualized Roger Rabbit costume and yet it was far more modest than other costumes at that show. There were Playboy Bunny versions of Star Trek characters (also quite modest) which cover more than most bathing suits these days. Then there were others which were basically naked people adhering to the decency laws at the barest minimum of coverage. NONE of them deserve your harassment or abuse.


That’s only 12 pages. It goes on and it’s more of the same uncreative attacks about how women are at fault for their own oppression and how there’s “good” MRA and “bad” MRA.

As these trolls make post after post calling cosplayers whores and saying Cosplay =/= Consent a man-bashing soapbox that has no validation, they don’t even see the irony that the words they are typing are EXACTLY why our community has groups that battle the harassment and degradation. Just because they haven’t physically assaulted someone personally, they think there’s no problem in our subculture. This little trip to 4chan is probably only my second or third time even seeing that site. The Anonymous trolls use language that would give any psychological profiler a laughing fit. They sound like a bunch of privileged white male wanna-be millennials who are angry at their parents and girls who have rejected them so they turn to the MRA likings of psychopaths like Elliot Roger.

The subject of consent escapes these little boys. They see any female of any age expressing sexuality and sexual desires and she’s labeled a “whore” and “deviant.” Sidebar, those aren’t “bad” badges to wear. They lose the issue of consent in their slings of insults. It is possible to explore sex without ever having sex with another person. It is also possible to be a healthy deviant who doesn’t harm anyone (hey, the kink world is a damn large subculture which preaches safe, sane and consensual behavior).

MYTHBUSTED: Most cosplayers are not having sex in their costumes.

When they ask, “Where is the consent brigade on this?” By this, the Trolls are referring to the news that broke about Milly’s case being an accident not an assault. I’m not about to speak for an entire community of people sick of harassment. I will say, I am right here. I am not going anywhere anytime soon. Your trolling disrespect and “she’s asking for it” attitudes will be the rock on which people like me stand.

No, this teenage girl wasn’t raped but there are thousands of kids who are abused every year whether they are boys raped by priests or girls too young to understand they shouldn’t be fucking their teachers that get 30-day jail sentences because the girls are “older than their numeric age.” Girls at 17 who are getting ready to go off to colleges where boys are allowed to rape them without punishment because it might ruin the rest of their lives. Colleges were male students, men by that age, are allowed to stay in the same school as their victims! The newly introduced Senate and House bills, CASA and HALT are not good enough; they are bare minimums that colleges should have already been doing since the normalcy of coed education. These are institutions that have harassment policies which STILL include safety clauses for students telling them how to not be victims instead of teaching the malleable minds how to not be criminals.

I have some important messages for you, Trolls:

What I Wearing When I was Raped is a tumblr of genuine survivors who don’t fit a standard of “slutty whore outfits”

not asking for it

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8 Comments on Aftermath of #SDCC Cosplayer Incident: Why the “Consent Brigade” is still stronger than ever.

  1. The dangers of rape and the culture surrounding it need to be brought out in the open. From what I understand, rape is often under reported by women and men out of fear, shame, or lack of support.

    Female teachers having sex with underage boys – while most likely not as prevalent as male teachers with underage girls – is often treated as a joke. Rape in prisons and the military – where women are usually the victims – is also not taken seriously. Unless people step forward to protect, console, and be an advocate for them, nothing will happen.

    At conventions, men need to appreciate the efforts and the artistry of the costume and not objectify the women behind the mask.

  2. The only people objectifying women in this case were the media and the internet. They saw the picture of her sexualized cosplay and ran amuck with cries of “cosplay is not consent!” What actually happened to the girl? She lied about her age, ran away from her ride because she wanted to stay and party longer, then got so wasted/high that she injured herself badly enough to be hospitalized. There are two “guilty” parties in this whole debacle. 1) The girl for being irresponsible for her actions. 2) The people who immediately assumed this was a case of someone assaulting this girl because of her gender and the way she was dressed. You are the real sexist and you’re not doing feminism any favors so STOP.

    • No. I will not stop anything. It’s my goddamn website. Don’t recall getting a paycheck from you so you aren’t my editor nor publisher. If you don’t like what I have to say, stop following me.
      The press went on information that came from the parents and police. As someone who contacted police directly, I didn’t drum up any false information. Like others such as The Beat and Polygon, I used the information as it came to light. It took the police days to discuss the hotel camera footage.
      The websites I visited never implied her costume was the reason for an assault. It was called assault because of what her parents posted on her tumblr and because the police said they were treating it as a sexual assault by day 2 of the news. I kept a pretty general timeline of all it including links as they were updated. This does not exonerate the photographer/exboyfriend who let her run off in that condition when she was underage to begin with.

      The same convention, a friend of Adrianne Curry was walking on the sidewalk wearing her costume and she had a man yank her bottoms off. Adrianne chased him and punched him in the face. I suppose you’ll blame the costume and the press there too.

      You’re a troll. If you have nothing to add that actually addresses the facts as they were presented, fuck off.

      • For someone who wants to be taken seriously for what they stand for and this website in particular, your response was incredibly immature.

        “You’re a troll?” and then followed by “fuck off”?

        There was no form of childishness in the said post above and it was completely justified. It may not contribute entirely to the entire article on cosplay consent and whatnot, but a portion of it that’s equally as important. Tumblr and the media milked the sexual assault assumptions just as the police did in the beginning when now it turns out this didn’t actually happen.

        Thankfully it didn’t happen because these crimes are never a joke, are awful and the lowest of the low. This is now the story of a very irresponsible teenager and equally irresponsible ex-boyfriend & mother that could have prevented this situation from happening in the first place. In time all parties are going to have to learn from this and hopefully do for their sake.

        Sexual harassment in cosplay IS an issue, but nowhere did the previous post state that it ISN’T an issue. It needs to be combated, some way and somehow as it’s becoming more and more common in a disturbing way.

        As an added bonus, no I’m not a /cgl male “troll”. I’m a female cosplayer in my 20’s voicing my opinion on how this story was taken to the deep end in a twist of stupidity & lies with a dose of rumour when there are real cases of sexual assault happening at conventions that need to be covered.

      • Yes there are real cases at nearly every con and all people should feel safe to talk about them online not be subjected to bullying, further harassment and actual threats of harm. Trolls blame everyone except the people who go around doing the harassing. This girl was wrong. My point, if you read it, is that bec one case was wrong doesn’t negate all the work ahead that is needed to make conventions safe.

    • The reason why people assumed the woman was attacked is because THIS SHIT IS SO FUCKING COMMON. A con doesn’t go by where someone isn’t attacked/harassed. It was a rather logical jump to think that’s what this is. Not to mention the girl’s parents are *still* saying the fall story is bullshit.

      But Ok. Assume I believe that she lied about her age. She said she was 20. That’s still underage for alcohol. He gave booze to someone underaged. That’s still a crime. He’s not innocent. He gave her booze then proceeded to let her run away without trying to follow. He’s just as guilty of being “irresponsible” as she is. Except he’s 29 and she’s 17. At 29 you know better then to give someone underage booze…then let them go off into the night.

  3. Except. It is. He’s still committed a crime. That’s why he’s being charged.

    And actually. I do think those are the same level of irresponsible. The girl is 17 year’s old. If she drinks and does drugs. An ex boyfriend would know that. And if he was responsible NOT put her in that situation.

    And the end of the day he still took her to that party knowing her history. Knowing she was underage (even if he was under the impression it was 20 and not 17)

    I also find it interesting how much you know about the girl’s personal facebook. Stalker much? Go back to /cgl/ where people will stroke your e-penis for being a big man. We’ll stay here in the real world.

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