THE WINCHESTER-NABU DETECTIVE AGENCY
YEAR TWO: CASE FILE NO. 29-81

Cat Detectives

AMBER LOVE 26-NOV-2018 Catch up on Year One and previous Year Two cases at the Winchester-Nabu Detective Agency. This work is supported by the generous backers who adore my cat stories at Patreon.com/amberunmasked and they also get first access to what’s happening with my books and podcast. For a one-time tip, you can go to the new PayPal.me.

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Where we left off:

The case file was another effort to tame Gus’ behavior after a sort of home invasion — neighborhood cat coming into our yard. Why does she come here? She knows Gus lives here. Is it because we have the best access to the hunting spots through the trails?

Bewitched

There isn’t much need for cryptozoology in this case file; but there is some! I certainly wasn’t expecting it. Today we have to talk about turkeys and whether or not they are magings or have maging cousins.

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Good morning, Turkeys!

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The only turkey lore I had ever heard was that Benjamin Franklin allegedly wanted the bird as our national bird. According to the Cryptoville website, that was only an exaggeration based on Franklin saying he liked the bird. Cryptoville is what leads me to exploring whether or not the birds Gus and I spotted in our yard are turkeys or something else.

Despite WKRP in Cincinnati, yes, turkeys can fly. Their flying isn’t high from the ground though so dropping one from a skyscraper is still a dumb and cruel thing to do.

Gobblesquatch?

The Cryptoville account of Gobblesquatch is hilarious (complete with photographic evidence). Thank you, Susan McNally of Cryptoville for enlightening us. The Winchester-Nabu detectives had been unaware of the giant turkey monster.

If McNally is correct and the Gobblesquatch took off for the northwest where it had more real estate opportunities to hide due to the Mid-Atlantic’s urban sprawl and over development issues, then chances are what Gus and I witnessed was not a flock (gaggle?) of Gobblesquatch(-es?). I don’t know the grammar here.

Turkey legends:

I read a few different things online that were attributed to Cherokee legend and Apache legend. Unless I know an actual scholar of those nations or a member of them wrote it, I have little faith the legends came from there.

One common element had to do with turkeys finding their voice either literally by asking the grouse for some vocal lessons; or symbolically that if you spot a turkey you need to speak up about something. As white colonists, I think we should always remember that the turkey is a symbol of nourishment, gifts from strangers, and the Earth’s blessings.

The WildGratitude site had a much more yogic philosophy about turkey symbolism. It’s about gathering socially, watching out for everyone’s best interest, communicating, being rooted and humble, among other interesting interpretations. For example, this passage:

“This is a bird that is not shy to state who they are and how they are feeling. Turkey spirit animal can come into our life to help us learn how to stand in our power, show our true colors, and boom our truth into the world.”

In reality, turkeys can be aggressive! Searching on YouTube for “man chased by turkey” turns up some entertainment. You won’t be disappointed. I made it easy for you and created a playlist. **NOTE: The last video is an orange tabby taking on a whole flock. I have to say, Garfield holds his own rather well considering how outnumbered he is.

Not a Thunderbird:

Oliver knows that there are a ton of myths about the so-called thunderbirds of North America. He’s not saying that they don’t exist, only that it’s not what we’re dealing with in this case. Thunderbirds are described as large, “monster size” birds, but some monsters are freaking small. Ask anyone who’s seen a chupacabra.

I remember one of my trips to the New York Renaissance Faire and the birds of prey exhibit. It was an impressive show with falconers and one of the giant birds flying over the crowd pooped all over a man. The largest bird they had was a condor in captivity. I felt bad for it. The sheer size of this bird and the size of the enclosure — well, I’m sure they built what they could, but it was like putting a shark in a fishbowl. Condors are enormous! They also aren’t flying around New Jersey unless one escaped from captivity.

Turkey or Maging?

We honestly didn’t get a long time to observe our visitors because Gus was busy in the woodpile trying to find Lil’ Chip Amunko who was searching for his breakfast peanuts. I suspect these are Meleagris (average turkeys), but they could be under a spell.

It’s been well documented on the internet that turkeymancing — or to be fancier “phasiamancingFrom the family Phasianidae which includes pheasants, grouse, and turkeys” — is a phenomenon. Yes, you have to believe me. It’s like that part of the Wizard of Oz where the wicked witch had flying monkeys to do her bidding. Someone or something of intelligence and magical powers is out there mindcontrolling turkeys. It’s probably not that challenging considering how small their brains are.

Do you believe me now?

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