It’s a special occasion but be comfortable.
Eat another deviled egg. It’s a holiday. Wear fat pants – or no pants.
When your family starts asking why you aren’t married with kids yet.
At some point, you’ll be ready to snap & need to call a hotline or sexchat.
The dog may swipe an entire platter off the table & you have to run to store.
You’ve been drinking since 9 & don’t care if they find you embarrassing.
After the pies it’s pajama time whether people are gone or not.
And fuck it – if your’e too depressed to drive for hours to see people you don’t like, stay online!