Why Do We Keep Talking About Creeps and Abusers?

(TRIGGER WARNING)

Because the List Keeps Growing

The Mary Sue was at one time keeping a list of comic predators. Since then, 2017, there have been more:

  • Nathan Edmonson — pretends he’s not married with a kid. Creeps on women notoriously. Shoved me to my knees in a hotel hallway (not even take me to a room) where he wanted oral and I walked away.
  • Jeff Mach – mostly keeps to kink and steampunk events but usually has a crossover track for horror and comics
  • JME (Jeff Mach Events) also would not guarantee the safety of a victim of a rape from one of his shows nor would he stop inviting the rapist Professor Elemental to his shows.
  • Professor Elemental sent out a press release about his new album and his plans to make a comic book tie-in. He has contacted comic media bloggers to promote him.
  • JME also made a habit of not paying people the amounts negotiated or promised.
  • Eric Esquivel – plenty written about him already; we exchanged numbers and he kept pestering me to meet up at Detroit Comic Con where I was busy being emotional and financially used by Dirk Manning (two-for-one!).
  • Ethan Van Sciver – alt right c*micsg*te leader; not an intimate style abuser but known for his legion of trolls who threaten people, especially after EVS posts a new video.
  • Eddie Berganza lots already out there.
  • Chris Hardwick – founder of The Nerdist among other things; his exgirlfriend, Chloe Dykstra, extensively documented abuse by him. Classic corporate “internal investigations” said nothing could be proved. Twitter was filled with #IStandByChloe and such tags in solidarity since emotional and financial abuse are extremely difficult, nigh impossible to prove.
  • Dirk Manning — 3 women coming out publicly while (one count had 15) others are too afraid to for fear of their jobs, reputations, embarrassment, and inevitable trolls. He lies about his family situation. He gaslights and abuses women through other forms of manipulation like coercing them into buying into his Kickstarters and increasing their pledges when they can’t afford it. After being in my hotel room (other women got invited to stay in his room), he left he said, “for a business meeting” for hours and said we could meet up maybe later. Just left me there like I was a used tissue waiting to be thrown in the trash.

When we’re authentic to our own nature, to our own questions, to our own experiences, we travel together quite naturally. It’s our authenticity that keeps us together, side by side. While our refusal to be authentic, out of fear or pain, is what alienates us until we feel that life is random and that we are alone. — Mark Nepo, The Book of Soul

That said, there are plenty of marital cheaters in the world. Do we hold entertainers to different standards? No. But what the victims of these people wanted was truth and safety. They wanted conventions to keep these men away. They wanted to not feel obligated to give money they needed for daily life expenses to these Kickstarters because the men would beg them and say how much it meant to have their endorsements. These women wanted to enjoy hobbies or get jobs such as in the Berganza case.

Amber selfie

I was called a Cry Baby:

Is that an insult? I’d rather have a full range of emotions than a sociopath who doesn’t. I cried when my heart was broken. I cried when I felt used and replaceable.

I cry less now but I have always cried.
I cried when my divorce papers arrived in the mail.
I cried when my ex husband was shot and injured on the job even though I hated him.
I cried during Hurricane Sandy from the stress.
I cried every time my ex girlfriend and I fought.
I cried when the mother deer who came to my backyard all time was killed.
I cried when I had to put my cats to sleep to end their suffering.
I cried at weddings.
I cried at a mass for a person who took his own life even though I didn’t know him.
I cried when Trump won the 2016 election.
I cried when I saw the body of a US soldier being dragged through muddy streets on the tv news.
I cried many times when I realized I couldn’t make it as an independent adult because I have needs and feel like a burden.

Yes, Trolls, I cry. I am cry baby. I am human who is adjusted to a spectrum of emotions not a sociopath. And for that, I am fucking thankful I cry authentic tears from my soul to water the soil where my future will grow.

Crying

Related:

Part One – my Dirk Manning experience

Part Two – more science on abuse

How to Identify a Toxic Person

I Want an Apology

The Catfishing Continues

Rachel’s Story

Crystal’s Story

Jin’s Story

Turanna’s Story

 

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